Okay, so, it’s getting toward the end of the school year. And let me just begin by saying, “THANK YOU, JESUS!” I cannot tell you how excited I am for this complete rubbish to end. Seriously. The kids are COMPLETELY out of control. I had a kindergartner today, while I was setting up the video for his class to watch (Bill Nye, by the way), whine, in the voice that most makes me want to slap someone that HE wanted READING RAINBOW. “No. You. Did. Not. Just talk to me that way. No. You. Did. Not.” We had a discussion about the way kids who are about to go into first grade speak and how they don’t. By which I mean, I gave a lecture on how they do and don’t speak. I warned them again about speaking during the movie. Then I started the movie and sat back in my desk for yet another THRILLING rewatching of the Bill Nye video my kindergarten classes have been watching ALL WEEK. Obviously, my mind wandered. I started to think about all the things I had to do this week. They were dropped on me at the last second! It wasn’t fair! My team is starting to get snarky at one another! That isn’t fair either! I have a lot of things to do this summer for youth group! I want the summer OFF NOW!
In case you missed it, that was the EXACT voice that kindergartner used. And there, of course, is where my inner teacher stepped in. No. I. Did. Not. I’ve almost completed my first year of teaching! I’ve made this science class THE MOST SUCCESSFUL IT’S BEEN IN YEARS! I won a flipping GRANT, for goodness’ sake! But when I go to my team’s lunch, I complain. The kids are out of control. I’m too busy. They ask me to do so much. Where’s the gratitude? Where is the joy?!
We (I, especially) live in a culture of discontentment. We are not supposed to be happy with where we are and what we’re doing. We are supposed to be ambitious. We’re supposed to want more. And that’s an insidious way of thinking. If we want more from ourselves in all areas of our lives, we quickly find ourselves dissatisfied, not just with what we’re doing, but with our whole lives: what we’re given, who we’re with, and what we have already achieved. And that’s a waste. We should be grateful for who we’re with. Even the whiney kids. We should be proud of what we’ve achieved. Even what is isn’t quite finished. Most importantly, we should be grateful for all that we have. I have a wonderful support system (even when they’re snarky), wonderful friends (even when I don’t have time to call them back- sorry, YaYas!), and a wonderful boyfriend (even when I don’t remind him). I work for a wonderful school and an incredibly blessed church. Yes, I am overweight, but I have enough food to eat that I can GET overweight! Yes, the intern acts like a teenager, but she has the energy to keep up with the kids when I’ve had a hard day and am getting pretty snarky myself. Yes, my life is hard. But it is beautiful. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.